MARTIN JONES is a Shropshire dairy farmer who writes his deeply poetic songs and monologues round the back ends of cows.
It’s the steam that makes him come over all misty-eyed and romantic. He used to breed ferrets until one day he discovered they could do it all by themselves.
In fact, Martin has been milking cows for 30 years. He once kept them for a living … now he just lives with them.
Luckily for us the village hall stage beckoned and from below the raised tail of his imagination tumble monologues, poetry, songs and sketches, for which he receives much adulation and pats on the back…which usually wash off with plenty of Omo.